I was startled awake by the sound of things crashing to the ground downstairs. Now bolt upright, I tried to make sense of what I heard. Was someone breaking in? Where was the damned dog?
The dog!
Oh jeeze, how could I forget? So stupid of me.
I slipped out of bed and into my slippers. I briefly considered the baseball bat, but no, I loved the damned dog. I’d just have to deal with him the best I could.
There it was again, the sound of objects being tossed about at random. Glass clinking on glass. Then the sound of something breaking. I best hurry, to minimize the damage.
Rushing down the stairs I passed through a bright patch of moonlight. I glanced up at the full moon and recalled that fateful night, two months ago. He was bitten on a camping trip. I still had not gotten used to the change.
I burst into the kitchen shouting, “Bad dog! Bad Dog!”
The werebeagle at the refrigerator whirled round, bright eyes sparking, tail wagging like mad, ecstatic in his newfound ability to walk upright and use opposable toes. A half shredded package of deli ham hung from his mouth.
“Bad, bad dog! Outside. Now!” I pointed to the back door.
He had other thoughts. He ran for the living room.
It took me the better part of an hour, and cost me a nice upholstered chair, but I finally got my werebeagle outside, into my high-fenced yard. Let him terrorize rabbits and squirrels.
I locked the door, since he could now open it on his own, and turned back to face the mess in the kitchen. I was exhausted. It was just too much for 3AM. Flipping off the lights I headed back to bed. I’d deal with the mess in the morning.
Loading ...
The werebeagle !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think that says it all. I laughed out loud and scared the neighbors.
Karen :0)
Oh, good, I’m glad it made you laugh out loud. I hope they didn’t call the police.
~jon
Oh, but he’s still a sweet dog, right? I laughed aloud at the thought of screaming ‘bad dog’ at a were-hound afflicted with the demons of Hell!
Yep, still a sweetheart deep down. That’s a beagle for you.
~jon
I can only second Karen. Werebeagle is wonderful.
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
~jon
I thought you were going to say that he’d been bitten by a teenager, and that was why he was raiding the fridge! Love the werebeagle, Jon.
Nope – bitten by another weredog. Different breeds react differently, so always a approach kitchens with caution.
~jon
I had the same thought! This a good full-moony.
Yes, perfect story for a full moon day.
Thanks, Lou. I appreciate that.
~jon
Jon, this is so funny. I love that he’s walking upright and using opposable toes (ha!!), but he’s still wagging his tail like a precious little puppy! How could you not love a dog like that, especially a beagle! ~ Olivia
Ha! Werebeagle! Fantastic.
This made me laugh a lot. Great twist of an old idea.
Great story, Jon, and believable. My beagle would love to have the abitility to open the fridge on his own.
Max is going to remember this one. You will pay in the end.
Barb Relyea
That was a lot of fun to read. Thanks for putting a smile on my face.
~chris
I loved werebeagle!!! Laughed out loud. This isn’t psycho pup, is it? Very amusing story, Jon.
Oh, Psycho Pup definitely influenced this piece. He’s a sweetie, but very psycho.
~jon
ooowwwll… giotta love a werebeagle. this was a howl..
Oh this is marvelous, Jon! So many laughs on this Friday morning.
The werebeagle? At first I thought – typo – then ‘full moon’, and yes, the werebeagle rummaging the meat drawer. Too funny. Peace, Linda
That was freakin’ awesome. I loved it.
Werebeagles – priceless. I think you might have made it smoke cigarettes like in the test labs!
Choice.
Werebeagle – I love it! I pictured him with a racoon-type face, you know, like a robber’s mask? Such a funny picture you painted here Jon. Thanks for the laughs!
Oh this was funny & nicely surreal. I love the idea of a werebeagle…You capture the weariness of the middle of the night well.
Love it! Opposable toes and werebeagle! I’m trying to imagine what he looks like and it just gets funnier. Thank goodness he doesn’t feed on humans after his transformation.
A great read and so much fun!
Add me to the fans of “werebeagle”. One of the most terrible lycanmutts in the world of horror.
Is the change triggered by full moons or just the presence of ham in the refrigerator?
–John
Full moons, thank God, or I’d never be able to buy ham again.
~jon
Fantastic flash John. A werebeagle. Laughed out loud I did! You should send it off to http://www.short-humour.org.uk
Jon, you are too much! I know you’re a dog person and I can barely handle my 8 pound Maltese, but if she were to be bitten and become a wereMaltese, I can’t promise I wouldn’t use the baseball bat! Just picking up the unrolled, shredded toilet paper this morning annoyed me, although I was laughing at her puppyish ways, but I’m not willing to sacrifice furniture. Should such a thing happen, I will send her to you!
Be sure to check her now and then for opposable toes. But spare her the baseball bat!
~jon
Just another night at the Strother household, huh?
Yeah, pretty much.
~jon
Werebeagle! Wow. In the fridge. Too much fun.
OH! funny funny GOL [giggling out loud!]
Adorable! Now that you set him up as a character, you could create a series of adventures with said Werebeagle!
This created some hilarious images. Based on your description I htink I had a were-Labrador once.
It goes around. Keep an eye on your dog during a full moon.
~jon
Ha, this was a good one!
Awwwww, very cutely funny! I think I could cope with a werebeagle
I’ll happily dogsit for you next full moon
Ha! I LOVE beagles (had a few) so this was especially endearing. Werebeagle – I’m smiling all over the place! Nice, fun piece.
I love the werebeagle — much more funny than scary.
Very cute story, Jon! I wouldn’t want to run into the werebeagle, for sure!
Oh, it’s not so bad. Still lovable beagle at heart.
~jon
I love the image of a werebeagle. It stays with you.
Helen
Straight From Hel
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by J. M. Strother, Laura Eno, Anke, Michael Solender, Michael Solender and others. Michael Solender said: RT @jmstro: There is a full moon tonight. Take my #fridayflash, Moonlight Madness, as a cautionary tale: http://bit.ly/9kBgg2 [...]
Boy, and I thought regular dogs cost an arm and a leg in upkeep… Good story. Very imaginative and humorous!
OK, so NOW what are you supposed to have in your sandwich since that pesky werebeagle stole the ham? I hate it when that happens.
I think a padlock on the fridge still might thwart him.
~jon
What a great concept! I laughed delightedly (a little too loudly). I want one, no, wait…
Werebeagle! Roflmao! That’s beautiful. I gotta get my in-laws to read this one… They are a beagle family.
They very well may have one.
~jon
Jon,
Awesome stuff here! I love the idea of a “werebeagle”. . . and then the guy goes back to bed, he’ll clean the mess in the morning. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
Jim
OK, you got me. Laughed out loud (lol’d, to you). Give Max a big wet kiss for me.
Max says hi, and don’t be a stranger.
~jon
Laughed out loud. I can see the gleam in his eye with his mouth firmly wrapped around the package of ham. Give Max a hug for me!
Barbara
Will do. Funny how people who actually know my dog, Max, immediately think of him after reading this story. Hmmm.
Don’t you be a stranger either.
~jon
Ha! Solid gold!!
Fabulous. My family had beagles when I was little, and a Werebeagle… oh yes, I can see it now.